"Right Now?" - A Mindfulness Technique

One of the most difficult features of anxiety is rumination. This is when your mind becomes so hyper-focused on something that it runs out of control, running over the same subject over and over again. The subject is so distressing that your mind can’t let go, trying and trying to come up with a solution. The problem is that the mind runs in circles, repeats itself, and refuses to settle.

This can, of course, be very distracting, especially when you’re trying to focus on a task or activity but your mind is elsewhere. You try to focus on what you’re doing, but your mind keeps slipping back to that other concern. It’s easy to become frustrated with yourself, even angry. This, of course, only makes the rumination worse.

Rather than fight with the rumination, it can be helpful to learn ways of listening to your anxiety and engaging other parts of your brain.

A few nights ago, I was struggling to fall asleep. I have a handful of breathing exercises that I use to relax my body and mind so I can fall asleep, but on this night they weren’t helping. I was stressed about something, and my mind kept coming back to it. Every few minutes I would realize I was ruminating again, that I’d been imagining causes and consequences of the problem, that I’d been stressing about what I needed to do to address the problem. My mind was running in circles, and I wasn’t falling asleep

So I practiced a mindfulness technique, one that I call “Right Now?”

First, ask yourself, “Can I do something about this right now?”

Second, ask yourself, “Do I want to do something about this right now?”

If the answer is yes to both questions, get up immediately and go do it right now. 

Unload the dishwasher. Write that email. Run that errand. If you are capable of addressing an issue and willing to do so, it’s good to get out of your own way and just get it done. 

It’s important to follow the “get up immediately” part. The physical act of movement is important here. Once you’re up, you have some momentum that can carry you toward the thing you want to do. You might find that all the anxiety you feel during rumination isn’t quite so disabling once you begin to act.

If the answer is no to either question, then it’s time to find a way to let go of the concern. There are good reasons for this:

If you’re not capable of doing something about a problem, then rumination about it is robbing you of this moment for no good reason. Lying in bed for hours stressing doesn’t do anything to address the problem, but it certainly means you’re more exhausted the next day. You’ll likely be even more stressed tomorrow, and less effective when you actually do try to address the problem. Rumination is a thief of our time, our energy, and our peace.

Just because you’re capable of addressing the problem doesn’t mean you have to. If you’re unwilling to stop what you’re doing to address the problem, that’s ok. Trying to force yourself to do something you sincerely do not want to do will only make you feel bad, and you might make the problem worse.

There are many exercises meant to help let go of thoughts and feelings, but one of my favorites is “Clouds in the Sky”

Imagine yourself sitting somewhere outside, somewhere peaceful. It can be a field, or a park, or your backyard. Anywhere you can see the sky. 

Imagine yourself looking up at the sky, and watching the big fluffy clouds drift by slowly.

As you breathe, you will likely experience thoughts and feelings. The problem you’ve been ruminating about will appear in your mind.

When this happens, imagine the problem is inside one of those big, fluffy, white clouds. Whatever images you see, whatever feelings you feel, imagine them all contained within a single cloud floating over your head.

Now watch the cloud drift away. You don’t have to do anything special to make it go away. The clouds are moving all by themselves. You just have to watch and each one will eventually fade into the distance.

As you watch, the rumination will likely try to start again. More thoughts and feelings will pop into your mind. When they do, simply repeat the exercise. Imagine those thoughts and feelings in another cloud, and watch it drift away.

You might have to repeat this exercise for a while, and it might not work every time, but with enough patience, you might find that your body relaxes and your mind calms down. 

The rumination quiets, and you’re able to get back to what you were doing.

Questions to ask yourself in your early 20s

As a young adult, you are facing all kinds of pressures. There are new expectations, new responsibilities and you are transitioning into new roles. As a modern young adult, you understand that all of this change can have an impact on your mental health. Whether you are grappling with anxiety or depression, life can be complex when you are in your 20’s. If you are a college student, that comes with even more changes to navigate. Some of these are what to major in and where you fit in this new world.

Here are five important conversations to have with yourself as you navigate life as a millennial. Use these as a guide or tool on your journey to self-discovery and optimal mental health.

What kind of relationship do I want to have with myself?

When we think of relationships, we often overlook the most important relationship of all--the one we have with ourselves.

A major aspect of this relationship is self-care; this includes making sure we take care of our basic needs. It is also important that we treat ourselves with empathy and compassion. This means making sure you get plenty to eat and plenty of rest, that you manage your stress and don’t wear yourself out. It also means being kind to yourself in the way you think and talk about yourself, even when you mess up.

When we start from such a compassionate place, it can make it easier to get to know ourselves in a healthy and productive way. Perhaps you’re a good writer, or good at public speaking. Maybe you tend to dominate conversations, or don’t call people back on time. Self-improvement starts with being able to reflect on both your positive and negative traits.

What kind of relationships do I want to have with others?

We have many relationships with others. In fact, feeling connected to others is one of our primary needs as a human and can help prevent symptoms of depression. Whether they are with romantic partners, friends, and family, or coworkers, classmates, and neighbors we have to look at how we want to show up. However, everyone has slightly different needs in these relationships and it’s important to know what’s important for you personally.

What are you like in these relationships as a young adult? How do these relationships affect your sense of self, your confidence, and your quality of life?

Do you feel safe and secure in your relationships? Are you able to be yourself? Do you have a lot of anxiety around others?

You learn lots of new relationship skills young adulthood

Young adulthood is a perfect time to reflect on your own experiences in relationships, and make any necessary changes.

Perhaps you need to learn how to be more assertive with others, or maybe you’re a little selfish in your relationships. You may have trouble with boundaries and allow others to take advantage of you. You also may not know how to deal with other people disliking or rejecting you.

Learning how to function in relationships is an important aspect of a healthy adult life. Fortunately, through practice it’s possible to get better at it and learn how to have healthy, meaningful relationships.

Do I have any unresolved trauma?

As a young adult, you’re trying to plan for your future. You’re trying to figure out who you’re going to be and what your life is going to look like. This is a hard enough job on its own, but is infinitely more difficult when you experienced trauma in your childhood

Trauma is very difficult in general. Understanding how it changed how you make decisions as well as how you deal with stress has a big impact on your mental health as a young adult.

Is it too late to deal with trauma?

So many people come into my office in their 30’s, 40’s, and beyond, still grappling with decades of pain from unresolved childhood trauma.

I would never say that it is “too late” for these people--far from it. However, today is always the best day to start working on trauma recovery. The truth is, the longer you wait to get help the longer that trauma continues to haunt you and affect your day to day life. The more the trauma takes from you, robbing you of joy, peace, and opportunity.

Your early 20’s are a fantastic time to work on overcoming childhood trauma. You’ll find that it is so much easier to make big, life-changing decisions when you aren’t weighed down by trauma symptoms. And you aren't getting in your own way through unhealthy coping skills.

Your young adult years are the perfect time to heal your emotional wounds and learn to deal with new stressors in a healthy, productive way.

What are my values?

If you’ve read my write-up on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, then you’re familiar with the concept of values when it comes to counseling.

However, values are more than just a buzzword to use with your therapist. Values are a way of creating a compass for yourself with which to guide you through your life.

In young adulthood, you’re faced with an enormous number of choices to make. It can be hard to know what’s right, or what’s going to benefit you the most in the long term. Values can help when you are feeling overwhelmed. When you know what you value, it's easier to make the best possible choice.

Ask yourself what’s important to you. What people and issues inspire you? What dreams did you have when you were younger? What are your morals and where do they come from? What activities, people, and experiences bring you a sense of peace and joy?

Figuring out our values is a powerful step in helping to define what kind of person you want to be and what kind of life you want to create for yourself.

Should I give young adult counseling a try?

It’s hard to narrow the questions you should be asking yourself for optimal mental health down to just 5. In fact, this list is laughably short--there are, of course, hundreds of questions you might be asking yourself about your present and future. It can be very overwhelming.

Fortunately, addressing these big questions in counseling while you are a young adult helps. Many people find it very helpful to have a non biased 3rd party helping to pick apart these questions. Counseling for young adults is an excellent way to explore who you are and discover what you want your life to be like in the future.

At my Tulsa counseling office, I enjoy helping people in their 20s and 30s grapple with and answer these questions for themselves. Counseling can help you not only answer these questions, but to address any other mental health concerns as well.

College Student Counseling in Tulsa, OK

Being a young adult is difficult. Whether you are a college student or not, you are discovering new things about yourself and how you show up in the world. Acceptance and Commitment therapy will help you navigate anxiety, depression, or simply help you live the best life you can.

TO BEGIN young adult counseling IN TULSA, OK FOLLOW THESE THREE SIMPLE STEPS:

1. Email me or call/text me at 918-552-0657

2. Schedule an intake call to discuss how counseling might help you.

3. Learn to confidently make decisions that are in line with your personal values.

Other Mental Health Services at Gray Matters in Tulsa, Oklahoma

At Gray Matters Counseling in Tulsa, OK I practice Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I help people in the Tulsa area with a variety of mental health concerns, including counseling for depression and therapy for anxiety. The LGBTQ community, young adults and therapy for men are a few of my focus populations. Being a young adult is hard. You don’t have to navigate this alone. If you learn some new skills, practice mindfulness and talk things through with an ACT therapist, you can make meaningful change in your life. Email me today to learn more about how mindfulness based therapy can help you move forward, be more decisive and feel less overwhelmed.

5 Elements of Mindfulness

Mindfulness is at the center of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It’s a simple but powerful skill you can learn. Many therapists use mindfulness in their anxiety counseling sessions, because mindfulness and meditation help improve mental health overall. More specifically, mindfulness therapy helps with lowering stress, coping with difficult situations, and improving your sense of clarity and confidence.

Mindfulness is More than Meditation

There are many ways to practice mindfulness. The most well-known is sitting meditation. However, yoga, tai chi, and other forms of exercise can be meditative. So can sports, running, or other physical activities. Even washing the dishes or taking a shower can be an opportunity to practice mindfulness.

No matter what form your mindfulness practice takes, there are a handful of basic concepts that are useful to remember. These concepts help hone your ability to connect with yourself on a deeper level.

Five Skills to Practice Mindfulness:

Become aware of the present moment

Developing the ability to notice the present moment is a skill for mindfulness. This means increasing our awareness of what is going on in the here and now. Noticing the present moment includes internal experiences like thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. It also includes external experiences happening around us.

In mindfulness practice, we build the habit of checking in with our current experience. You can do it right now--ask yourself how you feel emotionally. Look at what physical sensations are happening in your body, and what’s happening in your mind. Notice these experiences, then move on to the next one. Tune in to what’s around you in the room, and what sounds you hear right now.

Congratulations, you just practiced mindfulness! You tuned into your present-moment awareness to take stock in what’s happening right now. Over time, this practice helps us step out of our natural habit of ruminating on the past and future or getting lost in imagined scenarios or worries. Instead, we pay more attention to what’s right in front of us.

Practicing Non-Judgement through Mindfulness

Our minds are very good at judgment—in fact, they do so every day, all the time, without us having to try. Our mind reflexively wants to label things as good or bad, right or wrong. In mindfulness, we practice letting go of these judgments rather than hanging on to them.

In practice, a thought appears in our minds and we notice and acknowledge it. We see that we’re having that thought. However, we don’t get hung up on whether it’s a good thought or a bad thought. We simply watch it and allow it to pass. A good metaphor for this is watching clouds pass by on a summer afternoon.

Remember--don’t judge yourself for judging. Practicing non-judgment is difficult since our mind so naturally slips into judgmental thinking. It’s far more comfortable with things fitting into categories. So it labels and categorizes thoughts and experiences. When you notice your mind making judgments, make sure to accept that experience with an attitude of non-judgment. This gets easier with practice.

Acceptance as a piece of Mindfulness meditation

Related to non-judgment, acceptance is the practice of letting things be as they are. This means regardless of our internal experience, we allow the experience to occur.

This means that we don’t try to remove discomfort or escape pain. It is an acceptance that sometimes our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions are unpleasant. We make room for these experiences rather than trying to change them, destroy them, or escape from them.

To use anxiety as an example: when feelings of anxiety arise, we accept that we are feeling anxious and that this anxiety has a place in our experience. This may seem backwards, but it can help make the feelings of anxiety less intense and intrusive. We find that, sure, we feel anxious. However, we’re less controlled by those feelings and less bothered by them.

Acceptance is the acknowledgment that sometimes humans feel discomfort and pain. Trying to escape the feelings you are sure to have only creates more pain and discomfort

Staying open to new knowledge: ”Beginner’s Mind”

Another quirk of the human mind is that often we approach situations with very closed-minded attitudes. We do things in the way we always have, never considering alternatives. We ignore things that we judge to be unimportant even if we lack experience. We get bored or distracted from learning new things.

A beginner’s mind is an open mind. It assumes that things are naturally complex, that there are many possible explanations. It knows what it knows, but it is aware that there is always more to know.

Practicing mindfulness is a way to learn more about yourself and the world around you by looking at it without judgement. If we do so with what we think to be true and expecting what has always happened, we miss seeing what's actually true.

Depression can fill us with assumptions about ourselves and others. When depression tells us that we’re failures or worthless, it can be hard to see any other version of reality.

Beginner’s mind helps us to be open to any experiences we may have and helps with mental clarity. It helps us see things as they are. This helps us to respond to our experiences more skillfully and effectively.

As an example—many people go to the ER thinking that they’re having a heart attack. They then find they're actually having a panic attack. Obviously, the way of handling a panic attack is very different from how you might handle a heart attack. Being able to know the difference changes your approach. When you’re able to see reality clearly, you’re able to deal with it more effectively and productively.

Become your own best friend

Are you a good friend to yourself? I’m guessing you might try but often struggle. It’s easy to be too critical with ourselves. It’s easy to be impatient and have nearly-impossible expectations. Most of us are our own worst critics. If we learn to develop compassion for ourselves, this can improve our lives.

Mindfulness teaches us to practice being a better friend to ourselves through patience and compassion.

We learn how to be patient with ourselves. We understand that some things are difficult and need a huge amount of effort to do. Some things can’t be accomplished, and failing at these things does not reduce our worth as people. It is important to accept our mistakes and our shortcomings and give ourselves a break.

Mindfulness, Meditation and Self Love

We learn to have more realistic expectations for ourselves, and not expecting perfection. It is important to give ourselves enthusiastic praise and encouragement when we succeed. As well as providing support and validation even when we make mistakes.

Most importantly, mindfulness teaches us to honor all the parts of ourselves. We make space for both the things we deem positive and those we call negative. We learn to love ourselves more fully.

You might find that when you cultivate this kind of self-love, it’s easier to love others in the same wholehearted way. You may find that even if life doesn’t get simpler, it gets more full. So there’s more joy to be found; even in the face of hardship.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in Tulsa, OK

If you are interested in learning more about mindfulness-based therapy and how it can help you through depression or anxiety, follow these three simple steps:

1. Email me or call/text me at 918-552-0657

2. Schedule an intake call

3. Learn how a mindfulness practice can help you through depression or anxiety.

Other Mental Health Services at Gray Matters

My Tulsa, OK therapy office provides a variety of mental health services, including anxiety treatment and depression counseling. I practice Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which has it’s roots in meditation and mindfulness. I work with a variety of communities, including a focus on counseling for men, therapy for the LGBTQ community, and counseling for millennials. Call today to learn more about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in Tulsa, OK.

Laziness and Self-Care

I know I’m not alone when I say that sometimes taking good care of yourself is really hard. Most people I meet have some variety of reasons why self-care is so hard, but for me it’s the idea (and fear) of laziness.

Laziness May Actually be Stress

Most of us adopt at least a few unhealthy coping skills growing up. Avoiding the problem was always my top choice for dealing with stressors or conflict. If I felt stressed or overwhelmed, I would simply disengage.

It’s pretty tough to do much when you avoid stress and conflict, so I got called lazy on a regular basis. I was told I didn’t care as much as I should, and I often felt like I wasn’t doing nearly enough.

Is it Productivity or Anxiety?

In my early 20’s this manifested as a back-and-forth pattern. I was swinging like a pendulum from over-committing and pushing too hard, all the way back to skipping most basic responsibilities and isolating myself. One extreme was trying to prove to everyone (including myself) that I was hard-working and therefore worthwhile. On the other extreme was a total emotional shut-down. Fortunately by my late 20’s I was able to manage the self-destructive end of that spectrum. However I still bordered on being a bit of a workaholic. Needless to say, my already-existing anxiety only got worse.

Anxiety Counseling through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Through my therapist training (along with some good ol’ life experience) I’ve come to greatly appreciate the importance of giving yourself a break. It is important to take time to recharge, and generally just not expecting your life to be so damn orderly and figured out.

There’s a subtle wisdom in learning to be quiet and still, letting things be imperfect, and in giving yourself permission to have a little fun.

But holy crap is it hard.

You’re not Lazy. You’re Overwhelmed

The old specter of Laziness hangs around. If I sit too long I can feel it gnawing at me, picking at me, accusing me of not doing enough. Not being enough.

“Keep going.”

“You missed a spot.”

“Just one more.”

Some days I listen. I’m back on my feet, ignoring aches and weariness, washing one more dish, checking off one more checkbox on the to-do list.

The problem is that it’s never enough. The specter of Laziness doesn’t care how much I’ve done. It only cares about what else I could do. And let’s face it, there’s always something else I could do.

Give up the Ghost: Mindfulness Counseling

If you’ve read this far, I have little doubt that you have your own specter that haunts you. It talks you into making choices that aren’t good for you in the long run. I think we all do.

I think the only way to deal with ghosts like that is to let them go. I’ve clung to the idea that my worth is directly proportionate to my productivity. It’s an idea that’s pervasive throughout our culture, and it’s incredibly toxic. I’m learning to let go of those ideas and to embrace myself and my needs instead.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Helps with Overwhelm

Learning Acceptance and Commitment Therapy has taught me to make a little space for the worries, thoughts, and fears that lead me to making unhealthy choices, and not fight them so much. Instead, I let them hang around, but they don’t get to be in the driver’s seat. They don’t get to make choices for me. I get to choose based on my values, one of which is that I deserve to be taken care of. I deserve to do something other than work hard.

It’s going to take a great deal of patience and persistence, but it feels like a worthy journey so far.

I hope you’ll join me.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Anxiety

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and putting too much pressure on yourself, ACT might be a good fit for you. You can find balance and get off the ups and downs of pushing too hard and then falling apart. You don’t have to keep struggling with the same things. If you’re ready to begin anxiety counseling in the Tulsa, OK area, I’m ready to help.

To begin therapy at Gray Matters:

1. Email me or call/text me at 918-552-0657

2. Schedule an intake call to discuss the benefits of ACT counseling for anxiety.

3. Learn to confidently make decisions that are in line with your personal values.

Other Mental Health Services at Gray Matters in Tulsa, Oklahoma

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is tremendously helpful for a variety of mental health concerns, including anxiety treatment and counseling for depression. Gray Matters in Tulsa, Oklahoma also serves a variety of communities including counseling for the LGBTQ community, young adults and therapy for men.

Email me today to learn more about how mindfulness based therapy can help you find balance in a fast paced society.

Black-and-White Thinking: Creator of Indecision and Overwhelm

Often we get ourselves into trouble by approaching decision making using black-and-white thinking. This is an approach our brain prefers because it’s simple--things are either right or wrong, good or bad, working or not working. While this type of approach is appealing (we like fast and easy--just as the fast food industry) it fails to take into account the complexity of our lives. This can lead to some very real problems from a mental health perspective.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy & Decision Making

In ACT, we don’t try to make the “right” choice or get rid of “bad” habits. Instead, in ACT counseling sessions, we try to decide whether our habits and choices are helping us live in a way that is consistent with our values. If they aren’t, as a therapist, I will use mindfulness counseling techniques to help you learn different habits that are more effective in moving towards the life you want for yourself. This also helps to make choices that reinforce your sense of self and make healthy progress towards your goals.

The significance of approaching our habits and choices as “effective” or “skillful” rather than “right” or “good” is a matter of changing the way we talk and think about ourselves. It has the effect of helping us to be more patient and gentle with ourselves and others. It helps us be more flexible and adaptive when things don’t go the way we hope.

When we insist on black-and-white thinking, we put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves to be perfect. You might try to find the exact best way to approach a situation. We fail to realize that there’s almost always more than one way to achieve a goal or perform an action. There’s no such thing as the “right way” or even the “best way.”

As a Tulsa counselor, it’s my job to help you take a closer look at these thoughts. Together, we will look at which of your thoughts are effective at helping you move forward in the areas that matter most to you. Similarly, we’ll look at how some of your thoughts, include thoughts that label things as “good” or “bad,” might be holding you back, keeping you from making important decisions or even contributing to depression and anxiety.

Making the “Right” Choice leads to Overwhelm

Insisting on the “right” choice can often be a recipe for anxiety.

Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed with a choice? You have two, or three, or a hundred options, and you can’t seem to figure out which is best. You try to weigh the pros and cons, or make lists, or ask for advice from others, but you can’t seem to decide. Many people get paralyzed by this approach. I know that, personally, I’ve missed out on plenty of opportunities because I took so long to decide that the moment passed me by.

The idea that your choices are either “right” or “wrong” can mean you put a lot of pressure on yourself. The constant thinking and rethinking something through can not only be exhausting, but can leave you showing symptoms of anxiety (racing thoughts, self doubt, excessive worry).

Decision Making and Regret

Insisting on the “right” choice can also lead to regret, guilt, and self-criticism. These can, in turn, lead to signs of depression or anxious thoughts. It’s easy to think negatively about yourself (which contributes to both anxiety & depression)

Imagine you’re offered two boxes, but you can only choose one. You choose the first box and find out that it contained $1000. Amazing! You’re really excited about this choice (obviously).

But then you find out that the other box contained one million dollars. Now you’re likely feeling remorseful, frustrated, and even angry. You regret your choice. You might even berate yourself for being so stupid. You had a feeling the second box was the better box. Stupid! If only you’d listened to that feeling…

Of course you couldn’t have known. You had very limited information when you made your choice, and had no way of making a better decision than you did. It’s reasonable to feel let down--after all, you missed out on a million dollars! But the more you focus on what you missed out on, the less you’re able to enjoy what you did get. A thousand dollars is still a pretty great surprise, after all.

The answer is pretty obvious in this example, but it applies to bigger choices we make in our lives.

Making the Best Choice Possible

Think of the things you regret. Choices you made that turned out to be “bad” choices. Opportunities you may have missed or turned down. Try to remember your life at the time you made the decision. Try to remember why you chose what you did.

You’ll find that, in most cases, you made the best choice you could have. You looked at your options and you picked the one that seemed best at the time. See if you can remember what it was about your choice that seemed best at the time. Remember that these were and are valid reasons. You can’t make a decision based on information you don’t have, after all.

But what if you made a mistake? What if you forgot something important? What if you overslept that day?

Accepting Your Whole Self: Mistakes Included

It’s easy to berate ourselves for a “bad” choice when we have something to blame ourselves for. When there’s some obvious character defects that we can point to as the reason for all our “wrong” choices.

But of course this is harmful self-talk, and it hurts us far more than it helps. Rather than helping us learn from our mistakes, it deepens emotional wounds and makes us feel more guilty and ashamed.

Acceptance: An Antidote to Anxiety & Depression

Instead, try to practice acceptance of yourself including your mistakes and your “flaws.”

It often helps to picture a friend or loved one in your shoes. If your best friend missed an incredible job opportunity because they overslept, you wouldn’t berate them for it. You would be encouraging and empathetic.

“That sucks, that was a great opportunity. I’m sorry. It’s OK--I oversleep sometimes too, it happens.”

There’s no judgement or blame, simply acceptance and love. This self acceptance can be an antidote to anxiety and depression. Through letting go of that desire to make the “right” choice and giving yourself permission to make mistakes, it can be like lifting a huge weight off your shoulders.

Tips from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Decision Making

So today I encourage you to examine something for which you feel guilty.

Offer yourself sympathy for what happened--it sucks, after all, to lose something important or miss out on an opportunity.

Offer yourself acceptance--it happens sometimes. It’s OK that you make mistakes. It’s OK that you’re not perfect.

Offer yourself love--even though that happened, you are still worthy and valid. You matter. You are enough.

And the next time you find yourself presented with a choice, approach it differently. Remind yourself that there’s no such thing as “right.” Remind yourself that you can’t make a “perfect choice.” Remind yourself that you only know so much, and you can’t be responsible for knowing what you don't.

Look at your options. Consider the pros and cons. Ask yourself which choice moves you towards your values and goals most effectively and skillfully. Consult a friend or two, if it helps. Or consult an anxiety therapist like myself.

Then choose.

Begin Mental Health Counseling in Tulsa, OK

Making decisions can be difficult. Especially when we find ourselves caught up in black and white thinking. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy give you tools to cope with the overwhelm of indecision. Learn to make values based decisions that will help you make meaningful change in your life. You don’t have to stay stuck feeling plagued by indecision or with symptoms of anxiety and depression. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can help you on your journey to self acceptance and confidence.

To begin ACT in Tulsa, OK follow these three simple steps:

1. Email me or call/text me at 918-552-0657

2. Schedule an intake call to discuss how anxiety counseling might help you.

3. Learn to confidently make decisions that are in line with your personal values.

Other Mental Health Services at Gray Matters in Tulsa, Oklahoma

At Gray Matters Counseling in Tulsa, OK I practice Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I help people in the Tulsa area with a variety of mental health concerns, including counseling for depression and anxiety counseling. I enjoy working with a variety of communities including counseling for the LGBTQ community, young adults and therapy for men. You don’t have to stay stuck or keep feeling overwhelmed. Through learning a few new skills, practicing mindfulness and talking things through with a an ACT therapist, you can make meaningful change in your life. Email me today to learn more about how mindfulness based therapy can help you move forward, be more decisive and feel less overwhelmed.